Obituary

BRYNN LUND
1999 - 2013

Despite a valiant and courageous battle with cancer, Brynn Joelle Lund, passed away with loving family by her side on Saturday, October 19, 2013 at the Rotary Flames House in Calgary at the tender age of 14 years. 

Relatives and friends are invited to meet with the family at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Barnwell Chapel, Barnwell on Friday, October 25, 2013 between 7:00 P.M. and 8:00 P.M.
The Funeral Service will be held at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Taber Stake Centre, 4709 - 50 Avenue, Taber, on Saturday, October 26, 2013 at 11:00 A.M. with Bishop Tyler Johnson conducting. Burial to follow at the Barnwell Cemetery.

Supported and strengthened throughout her journey by loving parents Kevin and Christy Lund, sisters Sadie and Reese, brother Kade and pets Zoe and Suri. Brynn will be anxiously waiting for her Great Grandma Ivy Lund, and will be forever loved by her Grandma Carma Anderson, Grandy Patty Lund and all of her aunts, uncles and cousins.

Brynn was predeceased by both of her Grandpas Ken Anderson and Darwin Lund.
Always a considerate, mild, polite and obedient child of God, Brynn had a quiet confidence that allowed her to connect, inspire and change people’s lives for the better. She was able to do this at her school, community and church. Brynn did it at the hospitals in Calgary, Lethbridge and Taber where she would receive her treatments and care. Most importantly she brought her sweet spirit into our life and home that helped us to become an eternal family. Brynn was a natural peacemaker; she did not like contention or conflict and had a very innocent sense of humour, which made her everyone’s favourite sister. Brynn’s smile was infectious and her outward beauty was the same whether she had long hair, or a shiny bald head! She was so beautiful either way. 

Brynn loved going to Barnwell School and missed it when she became sick. She excelled in school, always on the honour roll and loved English and Art the most. Brynn inherited her Grandpa Darwin’s ability to draw and create. She really enjoyed swimming, animals and babies. Brynn always wanted so many pets; we had dogs, cats, rabbits, fish and 4-H calves. She was so warm and kind that animals and babies were naturally drawn to her, and she loved every minute of it.
 
Brynn was diagnosed with cancer (Rhabdomyosarcoma) in July of 2010. She was a perfect example of enduring to the end. Brynn was continually asking for more and better treatment. Near the end of her life when her body could not take any more, she still would not quit and she never lost hope that she would beat her disease.

If friends so desire in lieu of flowers, memorial tributes in Brynn’s name may be made directly to the Alberta Children’s Hospital Foundation - Oncology Research, 2888 Shaganappi Trail NW, Calgary, Alberta T3B 6A8 (www.childrenshospital.ab.ca).
 
We would like to thank the community we live in for supporting Brynn. Your love for our family has strengthened us. You have shared not only our pain, but our love for Brynn. A special thanks to Dr. Lewis, Dr. Mala, Dr. Torrie, Primary Nurse JoJo, the Nurses and staff at the Oncology Unit and Clinic at The Children’s Hospital, Rotary Flames House, Taber and Lethbridge Hospitals and Ronald McDonald House. Your special care of our sweet girl, gave us three extra years with Brynn and you are part of our family now.

WE LOVE YOU BRYNN<3 TEAM BRYNN FOREVER<3

A Day to Honor Our Sweet Brynn

Brynn Lund

1999-2013

Brynn Joelle Lund, beloved daughter of Kevin and Christy Lund, and beloved sister of Sadie, Kade and Reese, passed away in Calgary on Saturday October 19, 2013 at the age of 14 years.
Relatives and friends are invited to meet with the family at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Barnwell Chapel, on Friday, October 25, 2013 between 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
The Funeral Service will be held at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Taber Stake Centre, 4709-50 Avenue, Taber, on Saturday, October 26, 2013 at 11:00 a.m. with Bishop Tyler Johnson officiating.  Burial to follow at the Barnwell Cemetery.  Condolences may be forwarded by visiting our website at www.southlandfuneral.com
In lieu of flowers, memorial tributes in Brynn's name may be made directly to the Alberta Children's Hospital Foundation- Oncology Research.
Arrangements in care of Southland Funeral Chapel, Taber.

October 20, 2013 Our Sweet Angel Brynn

On October 19th, 2013 our sweet angelic Brynn went home to live with her Father in Heaven.  This past week we had the privelage of sharing many tender moments with her.  A couple of weeks ago I thought to myself- the only other day in October that I can think has any special meaning would be the 19th because that was my due date when I was expecting Brynn and then she came 2 weeks early!  The days all run together and I never know what day of the week it is- let alone the actual date.  A couple of days ago  I told Kevin that and wouldn't that be strange if that was the day she went.  We both thought there is no way that will happen- she's going to go longer than that.  On the 18th things drastically changed with her.  We were still giving her MANY baths a day because they helped with the pain in her back.  Usually I could just have a hold of her arm and it was starting to take 2 of us to hold onto her getiing in the tub.  The morning of the 18th she woke up and wanted to move to the lazyboy chair.  Kevin and I had ahold of both arms when her legs completly buckled underneath her and she had no strength in her legs.  She told us later that day that her legs were knumb.  Her one eye where her lump was on her temple was sagging that day and she didn't seem to be using it and it would stay mostly shut.  That evening her nose started bleeding out of the blue and they said it was probably the tumor in her head pressing on vessels.  She had another meal of crab with her dad- the only thing she has been eating the entire week is crab legs and coke!  We kept telling the doctors it was the 2 main food groups!  We had a nice bath in the big tub with the nurses help and she would smile in complete relaxation.  That night was the roughtest we had- Kevin and I were up with her until 5:30 or so and she was throwing up and not able to get it out.  She was having a hard time breathing and it was extremely hard to watch.  For the first time we didn't see death as the worst thing possible for her.  Kevin told her that both her grandpas were waiting for her and that she had fought long and hard but she didn't need to fight anymore.  We couldn't tell her enough how extremely proud we were of her and she has taught us so much.  Brynn waited until everyone woke up the in morning.  Her sister Sadie was able to hold her hand and spend some time with her.  Suddenly her breathing changed and we were able to all be with her holding her hands- telling her how much we love her when she took her final breath.  I couldn't believe it happened that quickly after thinking through the night that I really couldn't watch her suffer like that anymore. 
Kade had gone home the night before with my sister to play football and we felt so bad her wasn't there.  We didn't want him to find out before we got home and could tell him.  Packing up and driving home was so hard. I just felt numb and empty inside without her.  I was going to type this last night but I layed on Brynn's bed and wept- trying to smell her on her pillow and hold on to her as tight as I can.  We have been inseparable for the last 3 years.  Last night I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself without taking temperatures, giving pills at exact times throughout the day, silencing beeping med pumps, and just caring for her in general.  It's going to be a huge adjustment.
Sadie is going to have an extremely hard time.  "Sadie and Brynn" has been just one word since she was 2.  The two of them have been inseparable and the best of friends.  They had a special bond and it's going to be a lonely time for her.  I know she will feel Brynn with her- there is no way that Brynn wouldn't continue being there for her as she always has been.
I feel the need to pay special tribute to my husband Kevin.  I don't think there is a more devoted and amazing dad out there.  Kevin comes across as a tough guy, but Brynn had him wrapped around her little finger.  He was so soft and gentle with her.  He was her hero who would never give up and would do anything to make what she wanted happen.  He would run to Red Lobster all the time for her but then started buying frozen crab.  He would cook it every day and sit by her and shell it for her and feed it to her.  She would always have a smile on her face and the doctors couldn't believe she was able to eat it!  The last couple of weeks it was Daddy that Brynn would call out for.  She wanted us both there with her but if Kevin was even in the next room she would call for him.  She felt safe with him close by and he was truly her protector and hero.  I will forever be grateful to him for his tender care with her.  I will never wonder how he will be if I get sick because I know how nurturing he is and that he will always take care of his family.
Brynn kept her sense of humor right to the end.  She was calling the shots and when she asked for gravol and the nurse would say how about we wait for bed- she would quickly and politely say- could I please have it right now?  She would bob her head to the music while she lay in the tub.  The other day she was getting out of the tub and I asked where she wanted to move to?  There were a couple different chairs or her bed that were options.  She said could I go in the magenta chair?  I burst out laughing- only Brynn would call the color of chair magenta! Everyone called her a sweetheart.  We had all new nurses at the rotary flames house and they quickly came to love Brynn and say the same things the nurses at Unit one would say.  She is so polite, such a sweetie, there is something about this girl that makes us just love her.  Even when we thought she was sound asleep she would whisper a thank you when the nurses changed her med bag or fixed her beeping pump.  Always so polite.
Brynn truly has changed everyone she has met for good.  She rubs off on anyone that comes in contact with her.  She was such an easy child, so willing to help out, always likes things neat and tidy and didn't want any contention.  I see know that she has always been our angel on earth and that was preparing for her to be our angel in heaven.  I feel honored to be her mother and to have the privilege of having her in our family and home for 14 years.  I'm so grateful for all the quality time alone we have spent together for the last 3 years that she has been sick.  She has always been by my side and we enjoy doing so many similar things together.  I will miss her more than I can explain and truly have a hole in my heart with her gone.  I know she is running, swimming, with her dog Zoe and her two grandpas as well as many friends that have passed before her.  I hope and pray that our family can continue feeling her presence with us.  I know we will be together forever and am so grateful that she helped get our family to the temple.  I love you  Brynn.  Families Are Forever<3

October 14, 2013

I know I just wrote a couple days ago but I'm trying to write more often especially to remember those small amazing moments that I'm afraid I'll forget!  On Saturday we had a small but meaningful "tender mercy" happen here that just makes me remember that Heavenly Father is aware and cares about us whether it's big or small.  I know that he answers prayers through other people alot of the time and we just need to recognize it and where our blessings are coming from.  For the last week or so Brynn has been talking about getting her nails done and wanting gel polish on them. I thought we would do it for her birthday and last weekend we were home and I was going to take her to Lethbridge to get them done. She didn't feel the best and just wanted to get them done when we were back in Calgary and going on a pass. Little did we know that things would change to a point that we wouldn't be able to take her out on passes this week.  She was asking nearly everyday about it and the doctors didn't think it was a good idea.  They considered letting her go with a nurse assisting us on Thursday but she would have to be off her one pain med and they thought she might not be comfortable enough. She also ended up sleeping all day and was then disappointed when it was evening and too late to go.  We then decided maybe someone could come and do them here. Brynn said that was fine even though she really wanted gel- but thats Brynn- just going along with things!  They found someone from Ronald McDonald house and said she could come Saturday afternoon.  I was happy but sad for Brynn that it wasn't exactly what she was hoping for.  When the girl arrived I told her Brynn's favorite color was this light bluish green ( the color of her new room) and that I had polish that was similar.  She said she had gel polish and her led light with her. I was excited and then she pulled out the exact color of gel that Brynn wanted!  It sounds stupid but I just started crying!  We went to the sunroom and the nurses had it all set up like a spa with music playing and everything.  Brynn got to sit in a comfy lazy boy that is heated and is a massage chair.  The girl gave her a fantastic 2 hour mani pedi and Brynn enjoyed every minute of it!  She was so comfortable that she fell asleep!  It was such a special afternoon for Brynn and anything that brings a smile to her face just warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes.  I'm sure no one really new how much it meant to me that Brynn was able to have it done- but a loving Heavenly Father did and made sure that it happened and it was even better than taking her out.  There are many sad and low points to our days but this was one high moment that helped us smile for a bit.  Thanks to kind people that volunteer their time and talents to help someone they don't even know.  I will be eternally grateful<3

October 11, 2013

Well, following Brynn's birthday the nights got harder at home- we were hardly sleeping at all and her pain was getting harder to control. We were spending alot of time on the phone with Calgary and increasing the fentanyl that she was on continuously.  They decided we better come up on tuesday since she needed her port changed anyway and they would switch her from fentanyl to hydro morphine. They would do this for a couple of reasons. One is that there is a shortage of fentanyl right now and they were having a very hard time searching all of Calgary to find enough for us at home. We even had a pharmacist in Lethbridge that was kind enough to drive up Sunday night to Calgary and bring more back for us!  The other reason is that she could be getting resistant to the fentanyl and therefore requiring more and more to get on top the pain. We drove up with the whole family and had one extra bag of fentanyl left.  She was going through it pretty quick and I was prepared to change the IV bag on the way if we ran out but she was surprisingly pretty comfortable and we got to the hospital before her bag ran dry.  Usually changing her port is a pretty quick process but lately with the steroids she is on its getting harder and harder for them to access her.  They took her off her fentanyl and then it took quite a few attempts to access her so her pain was getting pretty bad. They switched her to the hydro morph and they were trying to figure out the dose she needed.  That was one of the hardest days we have ever had.  She was in so much pain the rest of the day and we were trying to catch up to it.  It literally feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest when I have to watch her suffer and can do nothing but console as she endures.  We got literally no sleep that night and each day since then has slowly got a bit better pain wise but she is definitely not doing well.
It's probably a blessing that when we left on Tuesday to come up here that we assumed we would change meds and be back in a couple days for thanksgiving weekend. Yesterday as we talked with the doctors here at Rotary Flames house we asked about that possibility and was told that we were here to stay now.
Last week when Brynn was having a very hard time mentally I had her write one blessing down at the end of each day.  It was amazing to me how easy it was for her to come up with something even when she was having a hard time smiling.  I have to remind myself of that and follow her example as I'm trying to not be mad that we aren't home with our family for thanksgiving weekend and counting all our blessings together.  I know the Lord is blessing us with little miracles everyday.  The big miracles that I'm asking for may not be the ones I'm receiving but I know he is aware.  I feel very numb right now as we are in survival mode to get through each day.  Yesterday I felt guilty that I hadn't cried yet that day and then I realized that I'm so aware of giving Brynn everything she desires right now. She asks constantly for us to not shed any tears and somehow I'm being blessed to be able to do that for her- in front of her.  However this morning as I was in the shower I couldn't stop crying. It's the one place I can just uncontrollably sob- get it out and then try to get through another day.  I'm realizing how precious our time is and am so grateful to have our family all together up here- even when Reese is driving us crazy!  I feel her slipping away and it's impossible not to want to hold on as tight as I can- even though I know it's probably not the best thing for her.  Sometimes I'm selfish like that.....I just love her way too much<3

October 5, 2013 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYNN!!!

I'm going to keep this post short and sweet- mostly because I can hardly keep my eyes open.  I just tucked Brynn into her own bed- yes we got to bring her home again for the weekend!  It's 12:30 a.m. and I want to be the first to wish this amazing girl a Happy 14th Birthday!!!! My heart is incredibly full as I wonder why I of all people was blessed to be her mother.  She has taught me so much and I truly believe that she was sent to me for a specific purpose- to help me be a better person.  We had some cake and opened a couple of presents a day early and then Brynn wanted to watch some home videos.  We watched the day she was born and then a few more as she was a toddler and a little girl.  I'm reminded again what a joy she is in our family and how she has made parenting her extremely easy!  She has always been so quick to smile and make me laugh.  She's got such a witty humor and charm about her that just makes everyone want to be around her.  Most of all she is the sweetest, kindest girl I know.  She is so sensitive to others feelings and she never requires much discipline.  Just saying you were disappointed in her would make her go to her room and cry.  I hope she knows how much we love her and look up to her.  She is honestly my hero and has made such a huge impact on me and our family. 
This last week she had radiation on her head.  It was a little scary watching them make the mask and I couldn't believe we were radiating a 4th area on her.  Brynn met with us and the radiation doctor and she asked him if he could radiate her liver too.  He was a little taken back as this hasn't been discussed but he said he would look into it for her.  She never stops thinking of what else we can do and absolutely refuses to give up.  Sometimes she gets upset with me because I'm not always sure that what she wants to do is the best thing.  I don't want more side effects or to make her more uncomfortable and have the same outcome.  It's the mother in me that wants to save her from any pain or suffering.  She is so determined though and keeps us all continuing to hope and believe that there is something that can make a difference.  Her pain has increased a bit but we are managing it with a pump and having it run constantly.  She just called me and I rubbed her back for a bit so I'm going to finish before she needs me again.  We hope to be home for a couple more days and then go back up to Calgary as a family again.  So far we are still getting passes everyday as long as Brynn is feeling up for it.  Her favorite place is Red Lobster and Kevin and I sit and crack open crab legs for her as she eats as much as they want.  This week the manager came and told us that they had a staff meeting and they would pay for her to come whenever we can as often as we like.  They had Kevin and I in tears.  People are so amazing- almost everyday I'm taken back by the generosity of others.  It has really taught me to be more empathetic in my life and look outside my own problems. 
Well time for bed- I never know what kind of night it's going to be and have to catch sleep when I can.  I just have to say what an amazing girl we have- pushing on and continuing to fight no matter what they tell us.  She is unbelievable and inspires me.  Happy Birthday Brynn!!!!! You are my hero and have been our angel on earth since the day you were born.  Love you<3

September 29, 2013

I know I keep saying we had a rough week and I'm sorry for the repetition but each week just seems to get tougher.  Brynn had high hopes when we went back to Calgary last Monday that her liver function numbers would be improving as well as her bilirubin so that we could begin chemo.  It was just another blow for her to find out that they were not getting better and chemo was still not an option.  She woke up early Monday morning at 4am and called me and said she felt a bump on the side of her head- right on her left temple.  I told her it was probably nothing to worry about even though I worry about everything.  We showed them and they tried not to look to concerned because they know how Brynn worries.  She's too perceptive though and she knew that it wasn't good.  They told us that her last scans they had seen some lesions in the bones on that side of her head and that now they were probably growing.  It is so disturbing to Brynn every time she looks in the mirror and is worrying about a lump that is visible and that she thinks is growing. 
We took all the kids out of school and brought them to Calgary with us.  They said it would be a good idea.  We were staying in the Oncology Unit (Unit 1) which has become a second home to us.  They brought up again that it would be better for our family to be at Rotary Flames House.  Three years ago Brynn asked me what that place was and I told her that is was for people that weren't getting better.  It is also used for respite care and other things that I didn't know about.  I wasn't worried at the time that we would ever be there or need to go there.  How in the world was I to bring up going over there to Brynn without upsetting her?  They didn't want us at Ronald McDonald House without nurses there and Unit One wasn't set up for families of 6 to stay there- even though they were bending over backwards for us and putting mats on the floor to accommodate us as best they can.  The hospital was at 114% capacity and they really needed the beds if we could be somewhere else.  Rotary Flames House only had one really large room for our family and they were holding it for us but couldn't do that indefinitely.  They also mentioned that we could bring our dog Suri there to stay as well..  We had lots of reasons so it was discussed.  Brynn didn't even want a tour of it and so the decision was made for her mostly by her doctors and nurses.  It felt so yucky to walk over there with all our belongings- a place that I never wanted to set foot in but  knew it was probably the best place to be. Her nurses were so incredible and bought matching sweaters with Brynn and they all wore them as we walked over to Rotary Flames House together.  We love them and they are so good to us and Brynn!
 I was feeling very guilty the first night there and was ready to check back into unit one when Brynn said she hated it there and felt like she was kicked out of the hospital and forced to go there against her will.  Her and I both hate change and would rather stay with what we know.  By day two however we were feeling more comfortable there and could see the benefits there was with more space for our family and being able to come and go as we please with no passes.  They have a chef there and he made a few of Brynn's favorites already- salmon and BBQ ribs with mashed potatoes.  Brynn really enjoyed that!
We really have tried to go out and do something fun each day as a family.  We all went to build a bear which the kids loved.  We went to Chucky Cheese and they played games, went to the mall and are hoping to go to the Science Center this week.  We were surprised when Brynn said she was up for going home for the weekend.  We got home last night about supper time.  We had such an amazing surprise as the outside of our home was all decorated for fall and my sister and family surprised Sadie by completely redoing her room this week.  It was so nice for her as we did Brynn's room this spring and our plan was to do hers this summer - but things have been crazy and it hasn't happened yet.  Brynn went to church this morning and has been doing pretty good.  We had friends bring her favorite thing- Cafe Rio tonight and Grandy brought her favorite strawberry pie.  She started feeling sick a few hours ago and was throwing up and had a headache.  We called and talked to Calgary but things have settled down and she is comfortable and watching Christmas movies with her sister Sadie.  It's so nice to be home- but also we are more nervous to take care of her on our own.  We are heading back tomorrow and have an appointment to talk to the radiation oncologist on Tuesday morning.  They might do one or two treatments on Brynn's head to relieve the pressure and hopefully make the bump go down.  It literally breaks my heart when she sees herself in the mirror and starts crying because the bump and her yellowish eyes bother her so much.  She's as beautiful as always to us but I'm sure it would be distressing to me as well.  We continue to pray for strength and comfort and for the doctors to be inspired to do the right thing with her care.  We pray that we can get all the benefit we can from radiation and with as little side effects as possible.  Brynn is still hoping for her liver counts to regulate and we are praying for that too.  I was asked recently if there was still any hope.  My reply was that there is always hope and we refuse to believe any different.  You have to keep having hope- it's the only way you can get through each day. 
This coming Saturday- October 5th is our beautiful Brynn's 14th birthday.  We pray that she can feel well and we can enjoy spending this special day with our incredible girl<3<3<3