January 13, 2013

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!  As we end 2012 I have so many mixed emotions.  Wanting the bad parts of this last year to be over- yet some of our most cherished memories have been in 2012.  We continue to talk about our amazing wish trip we had last May on the Disney Cruise and Brynn just said last week that if she could choose a wish again she would go on another Disney Cruise.  It's good to know that she has never regret her decision!  Also getting sealed in the temple was the biggest highlight we had and will always cherish that memory.  As I took down Christmas and our 7 trees (yes 7!!!! I know I'm crazy but it made Brynn happy) I had so many different emotions.  I'm always ready to start fresh with a new year and make new resolutions- but this year is a little different.  I'm very aware of the up hill battle we have this coming year and although I am full of hope and positive thinking- it's not what I was envisioning.  At the same time the highs are higher and the things that usually go unnoticed become much more important and leave an imprint in your memory and heart.

Last week Brynn had surgery to get a central line (IVAD or port) put back in her chest and get her PICC line taken out that has been giving us trouble. We stayed up at Ronald McDonald House since she had to be at the hospital at 6:30am.  Our surgeon who we have come to love was not scheduled for that day but he came anyway to do Brynn's surgery since he has done every procedure she has had and really cares about her.  We so appreciated that.  The plan was to see how she was after recovery and how her counts were and then to have chemo that day (Wednesday) instead of Thursday instead of staying up there one more night.  She took a long time to wake up in recovery- mostly because she never wakes up before 11 let alone 6am!  When she finally had some food in her stomach she said- "Okay- tell the nurse I'm ready to go have chemo now!"  I just laughed at how she handles things and just accepts what she has to do all the time.  We went down to the oncology unit and were surprised at how high her counts were.  We were able to have chemo like we hoped and left that afternoon- even got home in time for Kevin to get to Sadie's basketball game!    We truly feel like little blessings happen everyday and we just have to recognize them and not just focus on the things we wish we could change. 

Next week is going to be tough as we have our first set of scans since we started treatment in October.  On Wednesday we have a PET scan, 2 MRI's and a CT scan.  We will be praying hard that the results show some response to the treatments she is receiving.  We don't care which treatment is working as long as one of them is!  We are so excited that we are going to Phoenix the next Monday on the 21st.  Brynn has wanted to go visit my brother and his family since she first got diagnosed two and a half years ago.  He has a beautiful home and yard with a pool, tennis court, and two dogs. That is one of the reasons we got the port in so she could do one of her absolutely favorite things which is swimming.  They made sure to get it in on time to heal before going to Arizona.  Brynn has a week off of treatment the same as Sadie's semester break so we decided to go for it and take the family there for a week.  It will be nice to get away and if anything happens our oncologist says he has friends at the Phoenix Children's Hospital.  He seems to have friends everywhere but hopefully we don't have to meet them on this trip!

Today in church we talked alot about trials and the things we have to go through in this life.  We read a scripture that basically said that everything we go through is for our good and to give us the experiences we need to help us become more Christ- like.  I know that some things we will not know the meaning of on this earth but we have to trust that our Heavenly Father has a plan and that he knows what is best for us.  I feel like if our lives were always smooth and free of problems we wouldn't ever develop the empathy we need to help others through similar problems.  I wish we could pick and choose the trials we have- and maybe we did- but it's still hard to accept sometimes.  As we head into this week of scans we would ask for continued prayers for our sweet little courageous daughter- that we can have the results we are hoping and praying for and that we can have continued peace and comfort as we continue on this unknown journey.