Sunday, June 16, 2013

June 16, 2013

I can't even believe what the date is as I type it!!!  We have had such a crazy busy couple of months and I am truly amazed at how well Brynn continues to do!  We finally had the opportunity to do something that Brynn has been begging to do for years now!  That is have a litter of puppies....that is why I haven't blogged for so long!  Just kidding but it was a very busy time between 4 kids and their sports and activities, 6 puppies, and the store that has been busy.  Brynn was so excited to have Suri bred and we were so lucky to have the breeder let us enjoy the puppies at our own home- since she usually keeps them with her until they are sold.  Brynn would call at noon since all her core classes were in the morning and ask to come home so she could just hang out with the pups.  We had 4 boys and 2 girls and all different colors.  Brynn is so responsible and it doesn't wear off with her.  She continues to completely take care of her bunny that she got for Christmas and she was so dedicated in cleaning up after the puppies and taking care of them every day.  When the breeder took them for their shots it was perfect timing as we had Brynn's surgery that week.  She had a lump on her leg that was growing, even though everything else was shrinking.  Brynn was just wanting it gone and we were lucky enough to have her same surgeon be available to squeeze her in and do this surgery for her.  He knows her well and knew that mentally it was what Brynn needed to do- to just have that lump gone- even if it does grow back - which we are praying does not happen!
Brynn's class was planning on an exchange trip in the fall when she first relapsed so we said we were not going to be able to participate in it.  As it grew closer her teacher said she talked to the YMCA and they would be happy to book her and a parent a flight with cancellation insurance in case she was able to go with her class.  We were thrilled but not sure if it would be possible.  The day she came home from surgery was the day the Toronto kids were coming here for their week.  She wanted to hurry and go straight to the school to be there when their bus arrived!  I was amazed she didn't want to just go home to bed.  She ended up doing most of the activities the whole week they were here.  She even wanted to go to Waterton with them for the day.  I told her dad would go with her but she probably couldn't stay the whole day because she would be too tired.  I couldn't believe my eyes when Kevin texted me a picture of Brynn hiking with the group to the top of Bear's Hump.  That is a very steep hike up a mountain in Waterton National Park.  She was bound and determined- even with her leg still bandaged from surgery- that she was going to do it- and that she wasn't going to be the last one to the top!  She ended up beating about a third of the kids and the teachers were saying they better not here any complaining from anyone else if Brynn was doing it!  She truly inspires me!
We have continued doing oral and IV chemo and were waiting to start radiation.  We were told it would probably be the end of May.  I was sure that we would not be able to go to Toronto- but the radiation Dr didn't have things ready so we were able to go!  I went with her and we had so much fun together.  We went tree trekking and zip lining one day and I could barely keep up with her.  I kept thinking she would be done after this run and then she would be eager to keep going.  We went to Toronto one day and went to the Wizard of Oz play-which was amazing!  We saw the CN Tower and were able to walk around Kensington Market downtown.  We went on a boat ride, saw a cranberry farm, had a school dance and the last day went to Canada's Wonderland.  She was able to stay with me at a bed and breakfast since I needed to give her meds and shots.  Her temperature was up and down while we were there.  We had one trip to emergency with a fever and a few phone calls to Calgary but we were able to stay there and do all the fun things with her class.  It really was a miracle the way things all worked out. 
Since we have been home we have learned that now radiation is on hold until our next set of scans which are on June 28th.  He wants to see if there have been any changes first and then we will make a plan.  Brynn was ecstatic when the breeder who had all the puppies presold asked if we would like to be guardians of a second dog for her since she decided to keep one of the males back to breed.  Of course we said yes and it has been so fun for the kids.  It has been the best "pet therapy" for Brynn and it helps her to keep happy and positive and have fun.  She would rather stay home with her puppy then go to a party.... which is saying alot for a teenager!
Brynn had a rough week last week.  She was having some abdominal pain and some pain in her lower back.  She was panicking and she was starting to say things that she usually doesn't think about.  She was scared she was dying and saying even though she knows heaven is real- she is not ready to go there yet.  It made my heart literally ache in my chest and I did my best to help her continue to have hope and not give up.  We are so grateful that for several days now the pain has been gone and she has been feeling fine again and is just worrying about normal things like finishing her last week of school and her test coming up.  She mentioned again how lucky everyone at school are and they don't even know it.  She always says she just wants to be normal and feel normal.  It's unbelievable that it is coming up 3 years in a few weeks since she was first diagnosed.  She has literally grown up from a child to a teenager in the hospital. 
It really isn't fair- but I know there are lots of things in life that aren't and we just have to do our best to get through the difficult things we have to face in life. 
Last Sunday we had General Conference in church which is when we have many congregations of our church all gather together and have leader come and speak to us.  Our Stake President called me and asked if the visiting leader (Seventy) could come and meet us.  We were going to be gone to Calgary to Sadie's last basketball tournament and I felt so bad that we wouldn't meet him.  The next day he asked if we could come an hour early to church because he still wanted to meet us and Brynn.  It was wonderful to sit and talk with him.  He visited with Brynn and had some amazing words of wisdom for us.  He then joined Kevin in giving Brynn a beautiful Priesthood blessing.  After that we went in to the service which was full to the back of the gym.  Near the end of the meeting, they said that they were going to ask a few people to come up and share their testimony and say a few words.  I was scared to death that he was going to say my name.  I was shocked when the first name he said  was Brynn Lund.  They don't usually do that at church and Brynn was leaning on my shoulder- kind of dozing.  I told her they just called her name to come to the pulpit.  She stood up and walked right up there and told a bit of her story and then shared a sweet testimony of what she knew to be true.  There weren't too many dry eyes in there!
I'm so grateful for the things my children teach me every day.  I truly feel blessed in so many ways- even when I wish things were different and we could go back to the way things used to be.  I know that our kids come to us to teach us things and my kids have taught me more than I have being their parent.  I continue to hope and pray and trust that things are in Heavenly Father's hands and he knows what is best.  I will try to keep up on the blog more as we have scans coming up and most exciting of all my girls and I are going to Tayler Swift in Edmonton on June 25th!!!  Please keep Brynn in your prayers as we head into scans again soon..... we have to have hope and believe!