November 2010

We were so excited Brynn got to be home for Halloween!  She wanted to be sooo bad and her wish came true once again!  She felt pretty good still because she came home Friday the 29th and we had Halloween in Barnwell on Saturday the 30th.  She dressed up like Hannah Montana and her friend dressed like Lola her sidekick.  Brynn had a long blonde wig and everything.  It was so nice outside and we had a great time trick or treating as a family.  I promised Brynn we would put the tree up the first of November this year.  We had to go back to Calgary on Monday the first to start radiation so we put it up on Sunday (which was actually Halloween) but we weren't celebrating that day.  Lots of people thought we were nuts but I didn't care as long as Brynn was happy.  There were actually about three other homes that put there tree up that soon too!  Well the next day was the first day of radiation and we were so nervous.  We didn't know exactly what to expect and didn't know which side effects she was going to have and how bad she would get them.  She was receiving 28 doses on the bottom of her foot and 21 on her groin.  They were starting with the foot and then after 7 days they would start doing both sites each day.  When they took us into the big room and had her lay on the table I couldn't believe the huge machine and was so nervous for her.  She had to lay face down in a mold they had made earlier for her so she would be in the exact same position each time.  She would lay down and they put a bolice on her foot which was a gel like material that tricked the machine into thinking it was skin so it would intensify the beam to the surface of her foot.  When they had her all set up they said we had to leave the room now and we would watch her on the screen and we could talk to her and hear her.  This big thick door closed behind us and I felt so bad that she was in there all alone.  When they turned on the machine it only lasted about 12 seconds and then it was all over.  I was crying and had to hurry and compose myself to go in and look happy like everything was totally fine.  She was so brave and I was so proud of her!  It was hard the following week when she started her groin too.  She did so well with her foot laying face down but doing her groin she was face up and with her head at the other end right under the machine.  It moves around and was more scary for her and she was tearing up and looked terrified the first time.  She wanted to cover her face with the blanket so she couldn't see.  I was in tears again because she was crying and we didn't know what damage the beams were doing to her poor little body.  After the first time she never cried again.  We discovered the radio we could turn up and found a station in Calgary that only played Christmas music.  After that we would crank the tunes up and I would have to tell her to hold still and no dancing until radiation was over.  It only took about 5 min to do the groin too.  Things were going really well until her foot started to get more and more red and sore like a sunburn.  Then it started to get sore to walk and I would find fuzzy shoes and things that felt good to walk in.  It kept getting worse until it throbbed to even have her leg down because the blood rushing down would hurt more.  We started having to carry her and keep her foot up all the time.   I would park by the door and carry her in, go park and pay at the parkade and run back in.  Finish radiation and leave her in the waiting room while I brought the car to the door and then carry her back out again.  This was our routine everyday for most of November and December.  We were in Calgary for 26 days of November and 21 of December!  I reluctantly went with my sister and our daughters to Great Falls for Black Friday shopping the end of November and left Kevin with Brynn.  I felt bad but he reassured me I needed a break.  I only stayed one night and was driving home when she called me bawling that she had a bump on her foot again and she thought her tumor was growing back.  I was terrified!  By the time I got there the next day she had grown a massive blister on the bottom of her foot.  The doctors were calling everyone to see it and everyone had conflicting ideas of what to do with it.  Some wanted to pop it and some said leave it.  She was neutrapenic so we were worried about infection.  We stopped radiation for a few days and were constantly doing sterile dressing changes on it.  I have pictures but will see if Brynn will let me put them on.  Then more blessing came!  The blister drained on it's own, no infection happened, it stopped hurting, we resumed radiation and everyone was amazed how it healed.  The blister and dead skin was like a natural bolice so they stopped using the other one, and everyday we would redress it after radiation.  It would look better and better everyday.  We couldn't wait to be done!!!!!  Brynn was such a trooper- she couldn't even walk to the bathroom on the blister so I would pick her up and carry her while she pulled her IV pole.  We were quite the site!