August 2, 2013

I can't believe summer is half over!  It makes me so sad because I love just having the kids at home and having no schedules or sports right now- just together time!  The last few weeks have been both tough and amazing!  Brynn has been managing quite well except for some nerve pain that comes and goes.  Her back is feeling better but this pain shoots down her right arm and is pretty intense- and then goes as quickly as it came.  She is sleeping better the last week or so.  For a while we were up with her until anywhere from 2-4am every night.  Glad that everyone is getting a little more rest now!  We all look less zombish:)
One of the highlights was getting to go to her cousin Raegan's wedding!  My brother and part of his family flew from Phoenix and it was great to spend time with them!  Raegan looks so beautiful and we are so happy for her and Kalin!  Brynn was so excited to go down to our cabin the following Monday after the wedding.  My sister and her family had booked time off work and were coming with us.  Then the doctors called and wanted us to come to the hospital Tuesday and possible start radiation right away.  Brynn was so upset because she was looking forward to our trip so much.  We met with them Tuesday and met with radiation as well.  They said we would start Thursday for 5 days so since they don't do radiation on weekends it would end on Wednesday.  I asked if there was any harm to waiting until Monday and doing it all next week.  They said they had to have time to plan it but checked into it.  We were so happy when they said we could come earlier Monday to plan and then start later that afternoon and that would work fine!  Tender mercies!  We left the next day to the cabin with my sisters family.  Brynn had alot of pain driving and the first night there but then fully enjoyed the rest of the weekend!  We shopped, kayaked, boat and tube rides and just relaxed.  We had fires every night, made smores and it was just what she needed to gear her up for the next part of her battle plan.  Sometimes the mental break is the most needed thing!
Before we left to go- Brynn was upset that her hair was falling out on the new chemo she was on.  It bothered her much more this time after finally growing it back. The first time not one tear was shed.  It is quite disturbing to have hair all over your shirt and pillow all the time!  We had an incredibly kind sweet girl-my nieces sister in law Kaylee Ralph send me a message a while back and offer to take pictures for us anytime!  She had no idea that I am getting obsessed with pictures and what a treasure they are to me!  We talked and decided to do them after the cabin and when she was back from holidays.  When I saw how much hair Brynn was losing I called her and we didn't know when would work.  I called her on the weekend and we were supposed to go to Calgary on Monday and possible be starting radiation.  Then Calgary called and said they had to change it to Tuesday and thank goodness Kaylee said let's do them tomorrow (Monday) then!  It was a perfect evening and I'm so glad we got them done that night!  She did an amazing job and I'm so grateful to her!
Now back to the cabin.... Brynn was in tears when she tried to brush her hair out one morning and a huge clump came out showing her scalp.  I had promised her when she first relapsed that I would shave my head if she lost her hair again.  I told her whenever she was ready we would do it.  Then my sister had said she would shave her head too- so we sat outside at the cabin and had a head shave!  There was lots of laughs as Brynn cut off my long ponytail, then cut super short bangs, then a mullet, and finally all of it!  It was so nice that a traumatic thing turned into alot of laughing and some big smiles!  I was so proud of my sister for doing it too and Brynn loves that the three of us are bald! 
Today is her last day of radiation this time around- YAY!  This Sunday we are leaving to go to my brother's in Conneticut with Sadie, my sister Julie and her daughter Paige and my mom.  I wasn't sure if Brynn and I would be going and bought cancellation insurance but she's feeling well enough and the doctors have given the go ahead and think it will be really good for her!  Yet another tender mercy. 
We live in such an amazing community.  We came home to find the our house and yard and all of main street we live on all tied with purple bows and ribbons in support of Brynn.  At the school on the chain link fence is a big Team Brynn sign with a felt pen for every one to sign.  This Sunday our ward is having a fast on Brynn's behalf and I don't think people realize how much we feel supported and carried as we carry on and do what we must do.  It really gives us the strength to carry on when we have those days where we really don't want to anymore.  Thanks everyone from the bottom of our hearts- and please continue to pray for more miracles and tender mercies on our daughter's behalf<3