Sunday, October 20, 2013

October 20, 2013 Our Sweet Angel Brynn

On October 19th, 2013 our sweet angelic Brynn went home to live with her Father in Heaven.  This past week we had the privelage of sharing many tender moments with her.  A couple of weeks ago I thought to myself- the only other day in October that I can think has any special meaning would be the 19th because that was my due date when I was expecting Brynn and then she came 2 weeks early!  The days all run together and I never know what day of the week it is- let alone the actual date.  A couple of days ago  I told Kevin that and wouldn't that be strange if that was the day she went.  We both thought there is no way that will happen- she's going to go longer than that.  On the 18th things drastically changed with her.  We were still giving her MANY baths a day because they helped with the pain in her back.  Usually I could just have a hold of her arm and it was starting to take 2 of us to hold onto her getiing in the tub.  The morning of the 18th she woke up and wanted to move to the lazyboy chair.  Kevin and I had ahold of both arms when her legs completly buckled underneath her and she had no strength in her legs.  She told us later that day that her legs were knumb.  Her one eye where her lump was on her temple was sagging that day and she didn't seem to be using it and it would stay mostly shut.  That evening her nose started bleeding out of the blue and they said it was probably the tumor in her head pressing on vessels.  She had another meal of crab with her dad- the only thing she has been eating the entire week is crab legs and coke!  We kept telling the doctors it was the 2 main food groups!  We had a nice bath in the big tub with the nurses help and she would smile in complete relaxation.  That night was the roughtest we had- Kevin and I were up with her until 5:30 or so and she was throwing up and not able to get it out.  She was having a hard time breathing and it was extremely hard to watch.  For the first time we didn't see death as the worst thing possible for her.  Kevin told her that both her grandpas were waiting for her and that she had fought long and hard but she didn't need to fight anymore.  We couldn't tell her enough how extremely proud we were of her and she has taught us so much.  Brynn waited until everyone woke up the in morning.  Her sister Sadie was able to hold her hand and spend some time with her.  Suddenly her breathing changed and we were able to all be with her holding her hands- telling her how much we love her when she took her final breath.  I couldn't believe it happened that quickly after thinking through the night that I really couldn't watch her suffer like that anymore. 
Kade had gone home the night before with my sister to play football and we felt so bad her wasn't there.  We didn't want him to find out before we got home and could tell him.  Packing up and driving home was so hard. I just felt numb and empty inside without her.  I was going to type this last night but I layed on Brynn's bed and wept- trying to smell her on her pillow and hold on to her as tight as I can.  We have been inseparable for the last 3 years.  Last night I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself without taking temperatures, giving pills at exact times throughout the day, silencing beeping med pumps, and just caring for her in general.  It's going to be a huge adjustment.
Sadie is going to have an extremely hard time.  "Sadie and Brynn" has been just one word since she was 2.  The two of them have been inseparable and the best of friends.  They had a special bond and it's going to be a lonely time for her.  I know she will feel Brynn with her- there is no way that Brynn wouldn't continue being there for her as she always has been.
I feel the need to pay special tribute to my husband Kevin.  I don't think there is a more devoted and amazing dad out there.  Kevin comes across as a tough guy, but Brynn had him wrapped around her little finger.  He was so soft and gentle with her.  He was her hero who would never give up and would do anything to make what she wanted happen.  He would run to Red Lobster all the time for her but then started buying frozen crab.  He would cook it every day and sit by her and shell it for her and feed it to her.  She would always have a smile on her face and the doctors couldn't believe she was able to eat it!  The last couple of weeks it was Daddy that Brynn would call out for.  She wanted us both there with her but if Kevin was even in the next room she would call for him.  She felt safe with him close by and he was truly her protector and hero.  I will forever be grateful to him for his tender care with her.  I will never wonder how he will be if I get sick because I know how nurturing he is and that he will always take care of his family.
Brynn kept her sense of humor right to the end.  She was calling the shots and when she asked for gravol and the nurse would say how about we wait for bed- she would quickly and politely say- could I please have it right now?  She would bob her head to the music while she lay in the tub.  The other day she was getting out of the tub and I asked where she wanted to move to?  There were a couple different chairs or her bed that were options.  She said could I go in the magenta chair?  I burst out laughing- only Brynn would call the color of chair magenta! Everyone called her a sweetheart.  We had all new nurses at the rotary flames house and they quickly came to love Brynn and say the same things the nurses at Unit one would say.  She is so polite, such a sweetie, there is something about this girl that makes us just love her.  Even when we thought she was sound asleep she would whisper a thank you when the nurses changed her med bag or fixed her beeping pump.  Always so polite.
Brynn truly has changed everyone she has met for good.  She rubs off on anyone that comes in contact with her.  She was such an easy child, so willing to help out, always likes things neat and tidy and didn't want any contention.  I see know that she has always been our angel on earth and that was preparing for her to be our angel in heaven.  I feel honored to be her mother and to have the privilege of having her in our family and home for 14 years.  I'm so grateful for all the quality time alone we have spent together for the last 3 years that she has been sick.  She has always been by my side and we enjoy doing so many similar things together.  I will miss her more than I can explain and truly have a hole in my heart with her gone.  I know she is running, swimming, with her dog Zoe and her two grandpas as well as many friends that have passed before her.  I hope and pray that our family can continue feeling her presence with us.  I know we will be together forever and am so grateful that she helped get our family to the temple.  I love you  Brynn.  Families Are Forever<3




37 comments:

  1. Rest in peace sweet girl

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  2. Sorry for your loss. She's in a place where she won't endure anymore pain.

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  3. Hugs and love to all of you :)

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  4. Hugs from all us. Allison, Rob & Yolanda

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  5. Bless you for your wonderfully, sweet Angel and may she always rest in peace and smile down upon you. <3 Such an amazing, loving and inspirational family. God had it right when He gave you to each other. Brynn will never be forgotten and will continue to inspire others <3

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  6. So sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace Brynn.

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  7. Rest in Peace sweet angel. hugs and prayers from Carol

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  8. Thank you for sharing such a tender, personal and deeply emotional time with Brynn. I'm so sorry this day has come.

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  9. Your family is loved so much by so many people. Not very often does someone touch so many people's lives so profoundly. Not only did Brynn do that, but your whole family does. Brynn will not be forgotten. May Heavenly Father bless you with more love and comfort. Our hearts ache for you. Your family was so blessed to have Brynn come to you. Thanks for your blogs and all the things Brynn and your family taught us.

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  10. Rest in peace sweet Brynn.

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  11. We are truly so very sorry. Our hearts go out to you and your family today.

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  12. Rest in peace Brynn. She will always be with you.

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  13. Beautiful Angel - Peace be with all - RIP Brynn. Much Love

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  14. Love you Brynn, heaven is lucky to have you. You truly are amazing <3

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  15. Blessings to you and your family.

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  16. Thank you for sharing Brynn's legacy. I never had the chance to meet her in life but I hope to one day meet her in Heaven. Blessings and love to you and your family at this time of loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  17. I had the pleasure of only meeting Brynn once briefly at the Taber CornFest a couple of years ago while visiting family. While my wife and I only spoke to her for a moment, she left a profound impact on us both. What a lovely, strong spirit. She left a light in our hearts. Our sincere condolences, you are in our prayers and thoughts.

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  18. Bonnie Grigor-KuhniOctober 20, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    My prayers are with you at this time. I am so so sorry. Love you guys.

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  19. Nadia &amp; Jody DewashaOctober 20, 2013 at 4:10 PM

    We were so sad to hear this news. You are in our thoughts and prayers!! It was an honour and a privilege to have known Brynn!

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  20. Sis. Lund, I have never met your family but thank you for being so brave to share your story. While your arms are empty I want you to know that your courage has filled my cup. Your incredible family has exemplified what serving others in a Christlike manner really means. You are in for the long haul. You became a "light on a hill". Still sorrow is sorrow and grieving is important. I pray that you will receive the very best the Lord has to offer. A Forever Family.

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  21. Thank you Chris for sharing Brynn's inspirational journey here. She was an amazing light. We will pray for strength for your family. May you feel the Lord's strength at this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your heart ache.

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  22. Thank-you for sharing your families journey and for the lessons of true love and faith. Peace be with you always.

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  23. I have never read such a brave and touching story that I believe will grip hearts, for a very long time to come. I am speechless as to the grace and strength that you have both been able to live by. I believe your courage to share this story will strengthen many many more families that have to walk this journey that no one wants to walk through. God bless you during grieving and be kind to yourself. Thank you again

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  24. My prayers are with your family. <3

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  25. Praying for peace for your family. Thanks for sharing your amazing memories and journey with us Christy. I vividly remember meeting you 2 years ago, when you picked up the cowboy boots for Brynn. I'm so glad that God crossed our paths, so I could be inspired by Brynn's incredible strength and your beautiful spirit. Big Hugs, Robyn

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  26. I just wanted to add more of the same comments to show how far reaching your story is, and how many people's lives Brynn and your family has touched. I haven't been able to stop thinking about all of you since Brynn's passing. I hope you all feel the love and support from friends, family and strangers alike as it is being showered on you all. Godspeed

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  27. My family and I never officially got to meet brynn or your family but have been following your blog for the past year. As I was diagnosed last year at the age of 23. I wanted to let you know that nothing has given me more strength or fight than when i think of Brynn (and that is almost everyday) You have amazing strength and faith and we are sending all our love and thoughts your way.

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  28. I just heard yesterday from my parents of her passing. Bittersweet moment. How blessed we are to have eternal families. You and your family have always been on the back of my mind. I can't help but remember your beautiful girls in church when you lived in Rocky. You truly are an inspiration and touch lives! Thinking of you always and especially now. And I loved reading about Brynn. Although I didn't know her well after you left Rocky, she truly sounds like an incredible daughter of God.
    Love Robyn (Shenfield) McGale

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  29. I just heard yesterday from my parents of her passing. Bittersweet moment. How blessed we are to have eternal families. You and your family have always been on the back of my mind. I can't help but remember your beautiful girls in church when you lived in Rocky. You truly are an inspiration and touch lives! Thinking of you always and especially now. And I loved reading about Brynn. Although I didn't know her well after you left Rocky, she truly sounds like an incredible daughter of God.
    Love Robyn (Shenfield) McGale

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  30. brynn was such an amazing girl I only knew her for a short time and I'm sad I didn't get to become closer to her sorry for your loss she will forever be In my heart

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  31. I sit here bawling, crying as I have never cried before after reading your blog posts. I am so sorry for your loss, I don't think any words I could even come up with could express how my heart breaks for your family and your community. Brynn was an amazing girl, her strength for herself and for your family is incredible. Heaven has truly accepted an incredible angel. Your story has inspired me to do more, whether it be volunteering, fundraising or simply give a smile to a stranger. Thank you so very much for sharing your story, your journey, your blessings, your pain and your unimaginable loss.

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  32. I am so so very sorry to hear of your loss. Brynn was the very definition of a beautiful soul and she taught me to love more, laugh more and always smile at work because I'm surrounded by fabulous people. She has left a lasting influence on my nursing career and I will always remember her sweet sense of humor and never ending love for people. My thoughts are with you!!!!
    Love,
    Nurse Sam

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  33. Three years later, God bless sunbeam. She shall be in my prayers.

    Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei. Requiescat in pace. Amen.

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