October 5, 2013 HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYNN!!!

I'm going to keep this post short and sweet- mostly because I can hardly keep my eyes open.  I just tucked Brynn into her own bed- yes we got to bring her home again for the weekend!  It's 12:30 a.m. and I want to be the first to wish this amazing girl a Happy 14th Birthday!!!! My heart is incredibly full as I wonder why I of all people was blessed to be her mother.  She has taught me so much and I truly believe that she was sent to me for a specific purpose- to help me be a better person.  We had some cake and opened a couple of presents a day early and then Brynn wanted to watch some home videos.  We watched the day she was born and then a few more as she was a toddler and a little girl.  I'm reminded again what a joy she is in our family and how she has made parenting her extremely easy!  She has always been so quick to smile and make me laugh.  She's got such a witty humor and charm about her that just makes everyone want to be around her.  Most of all she is the sweetest, kindest girl I know.  She is so sensitive to others feelings and she never requires much discipline.  Just saying you were disappointed in her would make her go to her room and cry.  I hope she knows how much we love her and look up to her.  She is honestly my hero and has made such a huge impact on me and our family. 
This last week she had radiation on her head.  It was a little scary watching them make the mask and I couldn't believe we were radiating a 4th area on her.  Brynn met with us and the radiation doctor and she asked him if he could radiate her liver too.  He was a little taken back as this hasn't been discussed but he said he would look into it for her.  She never stops thinking of what else we can do and absolutely refuses to give up.  Sometimes she gets upset with me because I'm not always sure that what she wants to do is the best thing.  I don't want more side effects or to make her more uncomfortable and have the same outcome.  It's the mother in me that wants to save her from any pain or suffering.  She is so determined though and keeps us all continuing to hope and believe that there is something that can make a difference.  Her pain has increased a bit but we are managing it with a pump and having it run constantly.  She just called me and I rubbed her back for a bit so I'm going to finish before she needs me again.  We hope to be home for a couple more days and then go back up to Calgary as a family again.  So far we are still getting passes everyday as long as Brynn is feeling up for it.  Her favorite place is Red Lobster and Kevin and I sit and crack open crab legs for her as she eats as much as they want.  This week the manager came and told us that they had a staff meeting and they would pay for her to come whenever we can as often as we like.  They had Kevin and I in tears.  People are so amazing- almost everyday I'm taken back by the generosity of others.  It has really taught me to be more empathetic in my life and look outside my own problems. 
Well time for bed- I never know what kind of night it's going to be and have to catch sleep when I can.  I just have to say what an amazing girl we have- pushing on and continuing to fight no matter what they tell us.  She is unbelievable and inspires me.  Happy Birthday Brynn!!!!! You are my hero and have been our angel on earth since the day you were born.  Love you<3